I miss my friends

It's been bothering me for awhile now that I've decided to write about it and see if it makes me feel better.

 I once had a group of friends who I knew just about everything going on in their lives and they knew everything about mine. This was a group of friends that we had shared births of our children, the loss of parents, the loss of homes, the loss of jobs, the celebrations of new careers, the thrill of victory over the simplest things that would only seem big to us, and  the thousands of pictures through the years. We'd shared laughs and we'd shared tears.  Now my friendship with these that used to be my closest of friends is what can be shared pretty much in a 140 character status box on Facebook.

I lost these friendships because of poor decisions going on in my life at the time. I don't regret that time of my life because had I not gone through it I wouldn't have my sweet Dawson but I do regret the angry words that were said and the friendships that were shattered, some beyond repair. Some of these friendships remained but still on a different level, others picked up but then dropped off to be picked up later on. 2 I lost completely and it seems that I've lost those forever.  BUT the bulk of these friendships have resurfaced over the past 6-8 months and while I'm so incredibly happy to have these women back a part of my life it still really reminds of me of what I lost when I lost them.

Today I found out that someone who used to be one of my closest friends is expecting her 4th baby... I found out through a facebook status, which reminds me once again of all that I lost. Before I would have either talked to her on the phone about it or at the very least gotten an email and not heard about it along with the rest of her "friends" on Facebook.  I didn't even know she was trying to have another baby... This makes me sad. 

I know that our friendships will never be EXACTLY the same and in alot of ways that's good because I was to dependent on some of them. You need real life face to face interaction with friends and shouldn't rely on computers or telephones for friendships but I really miss the days of looking forward to checking my emails to see what was going on in their lives. I Miss having something exciting happen to me and being able to share it with those who KNEW me, knew what it took to get me to that point, and were geniually happy for me. I miss being able to show support and love for my friends, knowing they had my back and I had theirs.

I guess what it comes down to is "I miss my friends".